Learning to Be Free by Releasing the Pain

Today is a new day, a new beginning. For many, the first few days of the new year are for setting goals, resolutions, and even looking back on the past year.

As a student of life, I have always believed we live in the here and now. Edna Mode said it best when she said “I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.” I believe in being present in the moment is key. When you look back it can cause you to stumble and fall.

So does that mean the past is not important? No, it is very important our past makes us who we are. It shapes and models us but it does not define us.

Holding onto the past doesn’t change it. Wishing it was different doesn’t make it so. But accepting it and moving forward is how we grow and heal.

Learning to Be Free by Releasing the Pain

Learning to Let Go

When this past year began I thought long and hard about the word that would define 2021 for me. I finally settled on Nourish. I wanted to learn to nourish my mind, body, and soul.

As the year progressed and I learned to nourish myself with things that were good for me I quickly realized that there were many things in my life that were toxic. These things included friends, family, past hurts, and even work-related things. I took a long hard look at my life.

I knew deep down I had lots of work that needed to be done. Work that wasn’t going o be pretty or even easy. I had to learn to let go, to forgive not just others but myself too, and to face the truth that the only person I can control in this world is myself.

So how do you let go? Well, there are a few things you can do to help.

Lesson 1

Come to understand that the relationships you have with people will change as you grow. Not everyone we meet in our lifetime is people who are intended to stay in our life. Some people pass through to teach us a lesson. some to sprinkle a blessing on us and some are meant to walk with us for a while. The truth is relationships grow, change, and some even end. The key is to know your part in each relationship. Then treat it with gratitude, patients, and trust that it will take the path it is meant to take.

Lesson 2

Don’t be so invested in an outcome or situation especially when people are involved. This will always lead to disappointment. Learn to trust in yourself and to be grateful for the blessings you have. We can not control how a situation will work out and sometimes you have to learn to let go, to set boundaries to keep yourself from spiraling into a dark abyss. It’s ok to put yourself first.

Lesson 3

Don’t let yourself be chained or held back by your beliefs. So many of us say things like” I could never do that” or “I can’ take that happen”. If you allow your mind to be controlled by these limited believes that you will be chained by them. Release your mind and believe in yourself. It doesn’t matter how many times you try and fail. What matters is how many times you get back up and try again.

Lesson 4

Let go of the belief you can control others. You can not control what others think or do. You can only control who you are and how you react to things. This is a lesson I had to learn and am still learning. As a recovering people pleaser, I would think if only I can make them happy they will change. Wrong you can not change another person. In fact, you can’t control them at all. No matter how much you do for someone there will come a point when you misstep. So stop trying to please everyone all the time. This leads e to my final lesson

Lesson 5

Only worry about what you think of yourself. Free yourself from being controlled by what other people think. Start to prioritize how you feel about yourself. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” You can’t live by your values if you’re living for the approval of others.

Word of the Year

As we move in this new year I am taking the lessons I learned last year as I still need to be reminded of them. They have played a huge part in my healing journey and have led me to my new word of the year “FREE”.

I chose this word because it is the next step in my journey of healing and learning to let go. I want to be FREE of self-doubt, of limiting beliefs, of selling myself short when I set out to do things. I want to be free of all the outside noise and to focus on my own inner voice and make it strong, and full of positive vibes in all I do.

How are you letting go? What is your word fo the new year?

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